Ethel was a bit of a speed demon in her wheelchair and
loved to charge around the nursing home, taking corners
on one wheel, and getting up to maximum speed on the long
corridors.
Because the poor woman was one sandwich short of a picnic,
the other residents tolerated her, and some of the males
actually joined in.
One day, Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door
opened and Goofy Gordon stepped out with his arm out-
stretched.
"STOP!" he shouted in a firm voice. Have you got a
license for that thing?".
Ethel fished around in her handbag and pulled out a Kit
Kat wrapper, and held it up to him.
"OK" he said, and away Ethel sped down the hall.
As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel,
Weird Wally popped out in front of her and shouted
"STOP! Have you got proof of insurance?"
Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a drink coaster,
and held it up to him.
Harold nodded and said "Carry on, ma'am."
As Ethel neared the final corridor before the front door,
Crazy Craig stepped out in front of her, stark naked,
with a very sizable erection.
"Oh, Crap" cried Ethel, "not the Breathalyzer again"
Subject: speed demon 
