Differences between Men and Women

MONEY

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need because it's on sale.

BATHROOM

A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from a hotel.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 481. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

NAMES

If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.
If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will very likely affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy

EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom are more likely to each throw in a $20, even though it's only for $32.50.None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want the change back.
When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.


CATS

Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

FUTURE

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife
SUCCESS

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go 4 shopping, to water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and read the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods,secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

FINAL THOUGHT

Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.