Male Vs Female at the ATM Machine

MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE
A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:

'Please note that this Bank is installing new
Drive-through ATM machines enabling
customers to withdraw cash without leaving
their vehicles.
Customers using this new facility are
requested to use the procedures outlined
below when accessing their accounts.

After months of careful research,
MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been
developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.'
*******************************
MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
*******************************
FEMALE PROCEDURE:
(Unfortunately, most of this part is the Truth.!!!)
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required
amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents onto passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call
them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access
to machine due to its excessive distance
from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary
with your PIN written on the inside
back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty handbag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver
waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.

OMG..Ok now that was strangely so friggin true..I hate you for pointing out how redicuously systematic woman can be.

Oh No! They're on to us!!

very funny Caihlem. And also true

I did say I was gonna find out all about the meanders of the female mine

We have Chip & Pin machines in supermarkets in UK, my wife couldn't find her Switch card and we retraced her steps & found she'd left it in the Chip & Pin machine at the supermarket 2 days earlier.

Luckily, they had kept it in their safe, but we had to report it as missing - so it was cancelled & she had to wait 3 days for a replacement card!

So it actually IS true that they forget the crds they use to live off?

thanks for that.

They can manage for a while without cards, as long as they have cash!

Oh the ONLY time I lost or left a card, ended up in a horrible story. Funny but horrible because it almost got me fired! YIKES!

It was not my personal card that I left at the store. It was the "company" private issue platinum discovery card which had my name on it, as I was the General Manager. I had used it at a building supply store to buy some supplies.

It was Christmas eve, and at the time, I was not sure if I forgot it, dropped it or the clerk pocketed it for a spending spree. With it being the holiday I quickly reacted by calling the Discovery card company to report it missing, so we would be secured. The company put a hold on the card until I could get back to them, if I found it within the next 24 hours.

Little to my knowledge at just about the exact same time as I put the hold on the card. The owners had traveled out of state to spend the holiday with their family members. And they decided to treat them out for dinner at an expensive restaurant.

Guess you know where this is going, don't you???? hehehe

Yep that's right. The store owners wife who is one of those La-Tee-Daa stuck up type people, who wants to always show off how much money she has. Her hair, her clothes, everything has to be perfect. And she likes to brag about her expensive gifts she gives to her friends and family.

Her husband on the other hand, who was my direct boss, is the complete opposite. He drives around in a rusty rusty old beat up truck, and wearing plaid shirts, looking like a farmer that just came from out of the fields. lol

Needless to say, when it came time to pay the bill, as usual she whips out her Private Issued Platinum Discovery card and waves it around for all to see to pay the bill. Then the waitress returns to tell her it was declined, it did not go over so well!!!

She was totally humiliated and wanted my head on a platter.

My boss had to calm her down, and after finding out what happened, told her I was doing my job and for the best interest for them and the company. Ooooo she did NOT like that he took my side!

Later the card company called me within the next hour or so after I reported it missing, and said the store called and they had my card locked up in their safe. The clerk admitted that she laid the card down behind the counter, and forgot to give it to me. And of course, I didn't notice that she forgot to give it to me.

But all was well, but I sure would have LOVED to seen the face on the owners wife, when the waitress said her beloved card was declined!!!! muhahahahaha

129joe wrote:

They can manage for a while without cards, as long as they have cash!

Half an hour

Depends on how much cash!!

LOL That is too funny!

Hey Courtney!!! Great to see you here!

I have a feeling I know who told u about this place! hehehehe